Saturday, November 25, 2006

I Will Be The Death of Him

ok, this is a long one....

I dreamt that I woke up only twenty minutes before my english exam. My mother refused to take me to school but after nagging and nagging her, she gave in and took me to school.

When I got to school it looked as if she had dropped me off at my primary school instead of my highschool. I walked up the drive and saw a group of americans standing idly. They were staring at me and they were all fat with food stains smudged all over theire shirts. they began following me as I walked to the exam hall. On my way I walked passed the Drama room where my english teacher, Ms Allais, was auditioning learners for the play, Othello. I walked in, forgetting about the exam, and without even auditioning she cast me as Desdemona.

She lead all of the cast members to a part of the school I had never seen. We went up a flight of stairs and into a small classroom that had candles for light. The windows were concealed behind dirty brown curtains and there were three rows of desks. Everybody sat down at a desk and the americans, who were still following me, stood in a big clump at the back of the classroom. The only free chair left was right infront of them and I sat down there.

Ms Allais handed out the Othello scripts and i realised that all of Desdemona's lines were written in my handwriting which is almost unreadable. She told us that we were going to rehearse one scene. Soon it was Desdemona's turn to say something. Her lines were:


"Why does he put this burden upon me? I will let the jealousy consume me and I will become the death of him"

This confused me because Desdemona was the good person in the play, that loved Othello. I was playing the evil part. I couldn't say my lines and my tongue kept on tripping over the words. Ms Allais then told me to move away from the americans and to the other side of the room. I went to sit inbetween Neka and Jo (who wasn't even in the play). My teacher told me to resume my lines and to repeat them over and over again. I did it perfectly but then blood started flowing out of my mouth and the flow became stronger as I kept on repeating the lines until it was gushing out so strongly that I couldn't speak anymore. Ms Allais told me stop and the blood ceased flowing. Jo then turned around and laughing hysterically, told me that I was entirely soaked in blood from top to bottom.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom to clean myself up. I walked out the room, down the stairs and past a string of bathrooms but I didn't go into any of them. I walked all the way to the bathrooms by the hall and saw all the Gr 12's filing into the hall in neat rows. They all looked the same and had the same long black hair. They were walking mechanically with blank looks on their faces. I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror but the blood had vanished and I was clean. My friend, Caitlin, who I havn't spoken to in ages, appeared and just looked at me before walking out. I stepped out of the bathroom and she started following me like the americans did. Then she pushed up close to me, whispered something in my ear that I couldn't hear and then just walked away.

Its so weird. I haven't even thought about Cait in ages and now I dream about her. And the blood thing is just plain freaky...

~

my dreams have gotten too weird and i need to write about them. so instead of studying, i'm posting dreams coz they sit at the back of my head during the day and i think about what they could possibly mean.... if they actually mean anything. and if they're a reflection of who i really am then im one scary motherfucka and and it just means that i really don't like who i am.